pillow sweat
one of those nights where you wake up on the couch
using your sweatshirt hood as a pillow case against the rougher fabric
the oils on your face are slick
still a bit high
you get up and the automatic light goes on in the bathroom, beckoning to you to brush your teeth
but instead you turn off the light, stumble over to your bed, pull off your pants and sweatshirt, and tuck in
it's 5:30 am
in another half an hour you are awake and look for your phone
you find it on the floor next to a tv remote that's in pieces after falling off the couch the night before (thermodynamics)
you curl up and open your phone which shocks your eyes and mind
the world is beginning to awaken
you want to crawl away
somewhere
but there is nowhere
so you scroll for thirty minutes and then pull yourself up
and walk to the coffee shop down the street, the early morning light starting to awaken Los Angeles
the birds are at their most active, chirping
in the coffee shop, under the bright lights, you down two cups while you scroll
before your final sips, you open a book and try to calm down
this is your experience, 41 years after birth
welcome to the modern world of your choosing